Accidental Practice

What do you accidentally practice daily that keeps you stuck in a place or a life that you really don’t enjoy? And by accidentally I mean it happens without conscious thought. It is a habit that your brain has developed that keeps you in the same place and leaves you wishing that you could do better, be better or meet a certain goal, but it just seems that something is working against you.

Most of us don’t do enough soul-searching to find the answer to what’s keeping us stuck. We blame it on the universe, bad luck or bad habits and we never ask ourselves “what is the truth, what is really causing this?”. I for example, was associating asking for what I wanted with pain. For me asking for what I wanted was like using a muscle that caused me pain, after a while I learned to avoid (asking) working that muscle out because I associated asking (using the muscle) with being in pain.

To experience this for yourself lay on the floor and pull one leg up, bend at the knee and hold the leg with both hands. Now rotate your foot as fast as you can in a counter-clockwise circle to the left and then to the right for 40 revolutions and then do 40 toe points. Did you feel the burn and the pain? Yes, did it make you want to quit? And did you quit? Or did you push through? If you are like most people the pain will make you want to stop.

The unconscious thought of causing ourselves pain will stop us from moving forward and really going after what we want in life. On a daily basis we actually unconsciously practice trying to stay out of painful situations. And in my case I did this because I unconsciously remember the painful situations of not getting what I asked for or wanted.

Do you remember the last time you felt pain about something you didn’t get. For most of us it was when we were children and we can remember throwing a fit about it but in the end it did us no good and we didn’t get what we are asking for.  And depending on what emotion we used that day we either came away with a feeling/thought of doubt, anger, fear, sadness, hopelessness or something else and if it happened to us again and again, we begin to develop that muscle for practicing being mad or doubting ourself because the world/parents didn’t give us what we wanted. And after a long enough period of time that unconscious thought (muscle) pops up every time we think about what we want and it stops us from even trying (asking for it) because we unconsciously think it will be to painful or it’s not going to happen anyway, so whats the use in trying. We conditioned ourself as a child to believe it’s not possible for us to get what we want (so don’t ask for it) and furthermore if we do go for it, it is going to cause us pain (because we will fail to get what we want) and that thought alone will keep us from going for it.

So, I ask you again what are you accidentally (unconsciously) practicing?

In the end I had to tell my unconscious mind that I wasn’t in danger of pain when I asked for what I wanted, that the universe wants to give me what I want, I just have to ask for it and that I’m no longer a child and I do get to ask for what I want, the decision is now mine. In reality I was the only one unconsciously telling myself no and doubting myself before I ever asked.

And that’s what I had been accidentally practicing and it left me in a state of not setting goals or day dreaming or looking into the future. Oh, and also sometimes complaining and feeling sorry for myself because I wasn’t getting what I wanted, because I was afraid to ask for it. None of those things are things I believe in or want to believe in they are just things I practiced as a child and hadn’t let go of yet.