What Aren’t You Asking For

What aren’t you asking for that you know you really want? For me it would be to live in a world free of dictatorship. A dictator is: a person who rules a country with total authority and often in a cruel or brutal way :one ruling absolutely and often oppressively. Some of you may think I’m talking about politics but I’m not. I’m talking about the oppression I see daily in the horse industry, show barns, families and the general society. This is the oppression that affects me the most. This is the oppression that can keep a person from living their dreams.

This is the kind of dictator that makes you believe that you can’t because you aren’t good enough, smart enough, talented enough or don’t have the right social class to achieve to the level you want. We can become brain washed by this nonsense and forget that we do have the ability to ask for and live the life we dream about.

In the world I live in dictatorship seems to be the normal accepted way to do things. I live in a world surrounded by horse trainers and competitors that are after that blue ribbon and that gold trophy. And as a trainer myself I have felt the pressure to do something to a horse that I myself feel isn’t ethically ok to do to another living being. And I used to tell myself that if I wasn’t willing to do what I saw the other trainers doing I wouldn’t have a business. But that was just my own mind (ego) putting fear into me.  It was a lie and it felt awful because it went against everything I believed. At one point I started hating people and the horse industry. It seemed so confusing to sort out how to ask for what I wanted in a client and a business.

I questioned myself as to why I stay in an industry that is so overrun by dictators and abuse. And the answer is always the same I really would like to be part of the change, not just turn my back on something I have so much love for, horses and horse people. So in that comes the question “How do I help this great industry without becoming a brutal dictator myself?”. It serves no one to be that person who is complaining or tearing down others in an attempt to get something to change. Those face book pages or posts that target a certain person, breed or industry by only putting forth what they are doing wrong don’t serve anyone because they are driven from fear, anger, sadness and other lower level emotions. The solution isn’t going to come from that kind of thinking or doing.

I’ve watched from afar and what I see happening is, the more you target a dictator the bigger they build their army to defend themselves and the more powerful they become. It’s almost like they know better than the rest of us how to manifest or ask for what they want.

To me the solution is simple, stop giving attention to what you don’t want. If people stopped using that abusive trainer and the judges stopped placing that trainer they would go away, simply because they would no longer have an income. And this is the big one, if people would just be truthful about what they want –  a trainer, coach , or instructor would at least have a chance to build a plan and help them work towards their dreams in an honest, ethical and humane way. Don’t lie to your coach or trainer by telling them that you “want whats best for your horse” when what you really want is the significance you feel by winning that blue ribbon.

I feel like there are lies being told on both sides of the fence in the horse industry and maybe we could just all be a little more honest about what is driving us. We don’t have to be dictators or associate with dictators to get what we want out of life, all we have to do is get really clear about what we want and then ask for it. Knowledge is the missing key here. What is it that you could learn that would set you free from the dictators in your life?